I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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