Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
