You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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