I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize