When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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