i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize