I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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