Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
