3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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