He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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