and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
