Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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