remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
