I'm going to jail i love you
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
