Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
