Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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