chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize