clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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