Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
