you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize