Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
