i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
