Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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