apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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