I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
