Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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