I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize