I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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