She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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