I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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