i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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