It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
