I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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