I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
