he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
