Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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