i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
