worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
