p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
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I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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