Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
