I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
