I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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