I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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