my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My vagina is very pro this idea
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize