It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
