just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
