how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
