Having a random hookup so left but love u
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
