so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I love you.
Bad choice
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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