my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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