I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
