i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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