...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm passing your future prison.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
