well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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