"it" just moved
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize