No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
