her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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