Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
