I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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