hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
