i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
