Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
