i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
