I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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