I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
