i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it