Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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